they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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