Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
