why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
