I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
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