do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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