you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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