What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
