apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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