This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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