wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
