There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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