Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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