Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I currently don't understand fingers.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
