Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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