So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
