im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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