butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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