Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
