i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
