two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
