i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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