my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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