just tell him i said nine months
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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