I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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