So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
