OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
