that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
