i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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