Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize