He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize