I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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