You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
