He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
