I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
