its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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