I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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