you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
