you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
