her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
