you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
