I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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