I cannot find my penis.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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