Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
