If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Me too!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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