I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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