my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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