Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
