hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
