it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
