I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Shame is for Republicans.
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