Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I look better un-naked...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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