ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I love you. Go after that dick
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
