just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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