do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
