bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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