We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
