I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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