are you still at the devil's house?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
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