You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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