I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
