I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
