I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
