is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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