we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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