i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
