The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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