This is not my ceiling
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.