1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner