Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"

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  (407): i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks" http://tfl.nu/9b0l
  Replies (14) Good night (1205) Bad night (3122) Order T-Shirt
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.

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  (864): We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game. http://tfl.nu/1oa9
  Replies (28) Good night (5262) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking

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  (239): I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/yxe4
  Replies (61) Good night (5673) Bad night (714)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

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  (508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02
  Replies (22) Good night (5083) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.

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  (+61): I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy. http://tfl.nu/xos0
  Replies (10) Good night (5542) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."

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  (401): Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it." http://tfl.nu/3dma
  Replies (5) Good night (1737) Bad night (875) Order T-Shirt
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table

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  (778): nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table http://tfl.nu/3lt3
  Replies (8) Good night (1582) Bad night (1139)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...

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  (202): Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395... http://tfl.nu/2tco
  Replies (4) Good night (465) Bad night (1456) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.

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  (989): Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door. http://tfl.nu/7hia
  Replies (4) Good night (1221) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?

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  (314): Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard? http://tfl.nu/d7iq
  Replies (5) Good night (812) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere

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  (970): I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me (970): Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere http://tfl.nu/25bl
  Replies (12) Good night (2413) Bad night (369)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple

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  (320): No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple http://tfl.nu/sc0u
  Replies (11) Good night (1582) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

  (1-651): View more from Minnesota

  It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

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  (612): He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket. (1-651): It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm. http://tfl.nu/ei3h
  Replies (8) Good night (2182) Bad night (241)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.

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  (570): She needs more friends. Or a second therapist. http://tfl.nu/00pk
  Replies (1) Good night (427) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.

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  (617): My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me. http://tfl.nu/up6q
  Replies (2) Good night (820) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

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