At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?