i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
