The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
